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45 Of The Best Funny Quotes Ever

The Best Funny Quotes Ever

The Best Funny Quotes for life: It’s an amusing way of viewing the situation, sort of like an over-the-top government such as the humorous Rebellion Of The Penguins or a play on funny words such as the comedic play on words, “The Funk Brothers”. “So real! I’ve been thinking that all of these quotes for work, love, friends, and family are hilarious! Since it makes sense to me. I’m sure some will get you recalling those hilarious, meme-worthy movie and TV moments.

The Best Funny Quotes Ever

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I’ve met some pricks in my time, but you are my friend, are the f*cking cactus. – Anonymous

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My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She’s ninety-seven now, and we don’t know where the hell she is. Ellen DeGeneres

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I finally realized that people are prisoners of their phones… that’s why it’s called a “cell” phone. – Anonymous

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My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger. Billy Connolly

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You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now I’m scared! – Anonymous

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The broccoli says ‘I look like a small tree’, the mushroom says ‘I look like an umbrella’, the walnut says ‘I look like a brain’, and the banana says ‘Can we please change the subject?’ Anonymous

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“Be crazy, be stupid, be silly, be weird. Be whatever, because life is too short to be anything but happy.” — Anonymous

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“If one door closes and another one opens, your house is haunted and you need to run.” – Anonymous

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“Most of the time… when you’re crying, nobody notices your tears. Most of the time… when you’re worried, nobody feels your pain. Most of the time… when you’re happy, nobody sees your smile. But when you fart just one time…” — Anonymous

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“I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.” — Robert Benchley

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“Someone just called me NORMAL – Minions quotes for funny”

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“I want to change my name on Facebook to “Nobody,” so when I see someone posting something stupid I can Like their post and it will say “Nobody likes this.” — Anonymous

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“I want to change my name on Facebook to “Nobody,” so when I see someone posting something stupid I can Like their post and it will say “Nobody likes this.” — Anonymous

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“I’m sick of following my dreams, man. I’m just going to ask where they’re going and hook up with ’em later.” — Mitch Hedberg

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