35 Short Funny Quotes About Life to Make You Laugh
Awesome Short Funny Quotes About Life to Make You Laugh “I don’t broadcast every high & I don’t hide every low. I’m trying to live. I’m not trying to convince the world I have a life.”
Our collection of funny quotes which are short, easy to remember but still hilarious “All my life I tho air was free until I bough bag of chips.”
1. “The mind replays what the heart can’t delete.”
2. “I’m not rude I just have the balls to say what everyone else is thinking.”
3. “The most dangerous phrase in any language is “We’ve always done it this way.”
4. “I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.”
5. “Why be moody when you can shake yo booty”
6. “You know you’re an adult when you get excited to just go home.”
7. “Maybe swearing will help”
8. “Don’t die before you’re dead.”
9. “Don’t forget to drink water and get some sun. You’re basically a houseplant with more complicated emotions.”
10. “Just before I die, I am going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels. My cremation is going to be epic!”
11. “Please cancel my subscription to your issues.”
12. “Just remember that whatever you put up with, you end up with.”
13. “My parents spanked me as a child as a result, I now suffer from a psychological condition known as “Respect for others”
14. “When life shuts a door … open it again. It’s a door. That’s how they work.”
15. “Three doors in hell a guy gets hit by a car and goes to hell. When he gets there, the devil is standing in front of 3 doors. The devil says, “It’s your lucky day. I’m gonna give you a chance to get out of hell. You have to complete 3 tasks. “Behind this first door is a 1-gallon jug of Jack Daniel’s. You have to drain it in one drink. “Behind the second door is a 600 lb. grizzly bear with a sore tooth. You have to pull the tooth out. “Behind the third door is a nymphomaniac. When you’ve completely satisfied her, you can leave.” The guy figures it’s worth a shot, so he goes in”
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