These funny Minion quotes and lines are some of the most memorable moments from the movie. The Minions movie is all about the lovable, mischievous yellow creatures from the Despicable Me films. Now in their own movie, the minions are making us laugh with funny quotes and hilarious words.
These real Minions quotes are taken directly from the Minions and Despicable Me movie scripts. No interpretive sweet crappy meme text. See more ideas about minions funny, funny minion quotes, minions quotes.
Hey I didn’t mean to
interrupt your scrolling …
I just wanted to tell
you that you are
one big cup of
awesome,
sprinkled with
fabulous, with
n dash of crazy.
And I’m glad that
you’re my friend!
Have a great day!
Sometimes even the
devil on my
shoulder
asks
‘what the
hell are you
doing now?’
I hope you fall in love with someone who always calls you back and
never lets you fall asleep making you feel unwanted. I hope you
fall in love with someone who holds your hand during the
scary parts of horror movies and burns cookies
with you while you’re both busy dancing around
the kitchen. I hope you fall in love with
someone who tickles you and makes
you smile on hard days and on easy
ones. But beyond all that I hope
you fall in love with someone who
will never leave you behind and
who will never take you for
granted. Someone who will
stand by you when you’re
right and stand by you when
you’re wrong. Someone who
has seen you at your worst and
loves you still. I hope you fall in love
with someone who kisses you in the rain and
hugs you when you’re cold and wouldn’t have it any other way.
Minions Quotes
#1. My tolerance level is
extremely low proceed with caution!”
#2. You know you’re getting old when
you feel bad in the morning without
having had any fun the night before!”
#3. Sometimes those who don’t socialize much
aren’t actually anti-social, they just have no
tolerance for drama and fake people.”
#4. There’s only one
thing that keeps me from breaking you
in half, I don’t want two of
you around.”
#5. Relationship goals: Talk like besties play
like children argue like husband & wife
protect each other like brother and sister”
#6. That awkward moment when you’re checking
yourself out in the window of another
car and realize there’s someone inside.”
#7. What doesn’t kill you makes you
stronger. Except for bears. Bears will kill
you.”
#8. That moment when
you are having a conversation in your
head and you realize you are making
faces that go along with the silent
conversation.”
#9. Finally, my winter fat is gone
now I have spring rolls.”
Funny Minions Quotes
#11. There is absolutely no excuse for
laziness. But if you find one, let
me know.”
#12. I hate it
when you offer someone a sincere compliment
on their mustache and suddenly she’s not
your friend anymore.”
#13. Hey, I didn’t mean to interrupt
your scrolling… I just wanted to tell
you that you are one big cup
of awesome, sprinkled with fabulous, with a
dash of crazy. And I’m glad that
you’re my friend! Have a great day!”
#14. If being in my pajamas by
7 pm is wrong, then I don’t
want to be right!”
#15. If you don’t like where you
are, move. You are not a tree.”
#16. The problem with closed minded people
is that their mouth is always opened.”
#17. I have A.D.D attract dumbasses disorder”
#18. Whoever said technology will replace paper…
has obviously never tried to wipe their
ass with an iPad.”
#19. My strength didn’t come from lifting
weights. My strength came from lifting myself
up every time I was knocked down.”
#20. Back in my day, if I
wanted to download a song, I used
to sit my old recorder next to
the radio and wait for a cool
song, then hit record!”
Best Minion sayings
#21.
Today: A 9-year-old is happy when offered
the latest iPhone. Then: Me, at 9
years old, I was happy to have
this pen.”
#22. You’re weird. I like you.”
#23. Monday, it is. Do this, we
must.”
#24. #But mom what if I get
kidnapped?” #Trust me, they’d bring you back”
#25. It hurts when someone you love
says mean things like #it’s time to
wake up.”
#26. Warning! A virus called Monday is
fast approaching. There is no cure. Just
drink plenty of alcohol on Sunday night
to ease the pain!”
#27. I go to sleep so late
and wake up so early that I
almost cross myself in the hallway!”
#28. Crazy pills take one every hour
to prevent the urge of choking the
hell out of someone who desperately deserves
it! Caution if you see me without
this bottle..”
#29. I would lose weight but I
hate losing.”
#30. You are just jealous because I
act retarded and people still love me;)”
Funny Minion Quotes
#31.
My doctor asked me if I had
ever had a stress test? Yes –
I replied it’s called life”
#32. Sometimes, my greatest accomplishment… is just
keeping my mouth shut!”
#33. School field trip the normal ones
the quiet ones the naughty and nosy
ones”
#34. My brain cells, skin cells, and
hair cells continue to die. But my
stubborn fat cells seem to have eternal
life.”
#35. To all my friends and relatives
who sent me #Best wishes”. Chain letters,
angel letters or other promises of good
luck none of that shit worked! Could
you please just send cash, vodka, chocolate,
Italian food, wine or airline tickets instead?
Thank you”
#36. Funny Quotes with
Minions Pictures
#37. Dear mind, please stop thinking so
much at night…. I need to sleep.”
#38. Treat people the way you want
to be treated. Talk to people the
way you want to be talked to.
Respect is earned, not given.”
#39. Two most honest people in this
world: Drunk people and little kids.”
#40. My team when explaining a new
drill”
Hilarious Minions Quotes
#41.
Life is not like a box of
chocolates, it’s like a plate of chilies.
What you do today might burn your
ass tomorrow.”
#42. I don’t want to be a
grown-up anymore. It’s not nearly as much
fun as it was supposed to be.”
#43. They say don’t try this at
home…. So I’m going to go to
my friend’s house and try it.”
#44. I hate it when you have
to be nice to someone you really
want to throw a brick at.”
#45. That awkward moment when your parents
try to be funny in front of
your friends.”
#46. I love the
sound you make when you shut up”
#47. Who else speaks sarcasm as a
second language?”
#48. Every day at
work I wonder if this is going
to be the day I accidentally scream:
#Shut the F*ck up” out loud instead
of just in my head.”
#49. Sleeping is so hard when you
can’t stop thinking.”
#50. Age is just a number… yeah,
and jail is just a room.”
Best Minion Quotes Images
#51. Warning! Bitching at me to do
things won’t make me do them any
faster if anything I’ll take even longer
just to piss you the fuck off.”
#52. Sometimes even the devil on my
shoulder asks ‘what the hell are you
doing now?’”
#53. If you think nobody cares if
you’re alive, just try missing a couple
of payments.”
#54. I’m not the type of person
you should put on speaker phone.”
#55. Don’t give me your attitude unless
you want mine!!”
#56. The real definition of #Never Mind”
is #You should’ve listened the first time.”
Funny minions quotes about life “I
won’t beg for your time and attention
anymore. The more you ignore me, the
more I will get used to being
ignored. If you stop calling me, will
stop waiting for your calls. If you
stop sending me text messages, I will
get rid of my habit of checking
my phone all day. The more you
stay away from me, the more I
will adapt to staying away from you.
One day I will learn to live
without you and move on.”
Minions Quotes to Reignite Your Love
“Moving on is a difficult decision one
has to make a few times in
life. You can try to hold on
to people who have walked away from
you, or you can choose to create
a dignified life for yourself. You can
carry your mistakes with you, or you
can choose to learn new things to
better yourself. Eventually, moving on has nothing
to do with people or what happened
in the past. It has everything to
do with how you rebuild your life
from this moment on.”
