These Talladega Nights phrases will make you laugh.
Will Ferrell and Adam McKay are recognized for crafting wacky characters with quotable lines. Talladega Nights follows suit.
Talladega Nights’ funniest line? This classic comedy follows NASCAR driver Ricky Bobby, who needs to learn humility.
We hope these quotes make you chuckle, whether you’ve seen Talladega Nights once or a hundred times. Remember these Talladega Nights phrases when you need motivation. Favorite Talladega Nights quote? Comment below.
Hilarious Talladega Nights Quotes
1. “Like the frightened baby chipmunk, you are scared by anything that is different.” — Jean Girard
2. “Well let me just quote the late-great Colonel Sanders, who said…’I’m too drunk to taste this chicken.’”— Ricky Bobby
3. “Best movie ever made. Look I came here to tell you tomorrow I’m coming for you.” – Ricky Bobby
4. “I will let you go, Ricky, but first I want you to say, ‘I love crepes.’” — Jean Girard
5. “From now on, it’s Magic Man and El Diablo.” — Ricky Bobby
6. “I hope that both of You have sons… Handsome, beautiful, articulate sons, who are talented And star athletes And they have their legs taken away. I mean I pray for You to know that pain And that hurt.” — Ricky Bobby
7. “Don’t you put that evil on me, Ricky Bobby!” — Lucius Washington
8. [to the crew as they are speed-changing a customer’s tire] “Guys! No tires! We’re not a pit crew anymore, we’re a car wash team.” – Lucius Washington
9. “I wet my bed until I was nineteen. There’s no shame in that.” — Cal Naughton, Jr.
10. “Time to let the cougar loose.” — Ricky Bobby
11. “When you work on your mysterious lady parts and stuff, you need the right tools too. That’s why you should use [is tossed a box of tampons] Maypax. The official tampon of NASCAR.” — Ricky Bobby
12. “Everyone turn away. Things are gonna get crazy. We’re gonna make animal noises.” — Ricky Bobby
13. “I’m not sure what to do with my hands.” – Ricky Bobby
14. “Don’t you put that evil on me, Ricky Bobby! Don’t you put that on us! You are NOT paralyzed!” — Lucius Washington
15. “We’ll use this knife to pry it out!” (trying to remove a knife in Ricky’s leg) — Lucius Washington
16. “Why do you want me to break your arm so badly?” – Jean Girard
17. “It’s in the Geneva Convention!” — Ricky Bobby
18. “Hey, Jamie! Losing’s never fun, but here’s a little something to pick your spirits up… (flips the finger) It’s real nice…I got it at Target…it was on sale.” —Ricky Bobby
19. “I like to picture Jesus in a tuxedo T-shirt because it says I want to be formal, but I’m here to party.” – Cal Naughton, Jr.
20. “Got more plugs in him than a Circuit City.” – Carley Bobby
21. “You can’t have two No. 1s.” – Ricky Bobby
22. “I hope that both of you have sons… Handsome, beautiful, articulate sons, who are talented and star athletes and they have their legs taken away. I mean I pray you know that pain and that hurt.” – Ricky Bobby
23. “Absolutely ma’am. I’d love to sign your baby. You’re not gonna want to wash that forehead.” – Ricky Bobby
24. “Girard is sitting on the pole, which is a statement of fact And in no way a comment on his sexual orientation.” — PA Announcer
25. “One of you turds is gonna get smacked in the mouth!” – Texas Ranger
26. “No one lives forever, no one. But with advances in modern science and my high-level income, it’s not crazy to think I can live to be maybe 300.” — Ricky Bobby
27. “I felt like I was on a spaceship.” — Ricky Bobby
28. “How many more times you going to toss me the radio in the bathtub?” – Lucy Bobby
29. “Jesus did grow up.” – Carley Bobby
30. “My husband Gregory and I want only that what every other couple wants: to tame komodo dragons in Sri Lanka and teach them to perform Hamlet, but before I can do that…” – Jean Girard
31. “Help me Jesus! Help me Jewish God! Help me Allah! AAAAAHHH! Help me Tom Cruise! Tom Cruise, use your witchcraft on me to get the fire off me!” – Ricky Bobby
32. “I like to picture my Jesus in a tuxedo T-shirt. ‘Cause it says like, I wanna be formal but I’m here to party too. I like to party, so I like my Jesus to party.” — Cal Naughton, Jr.
33. “Daddy, you made that grace your b*tch.” — Walker Bobby
34. “Aaaaah, Ricky Bobby! Now we shall dance. And yes, it will be a slow jam.” – Jean Girard
35. “Bon. So, what if you just said: ‘I love really thin pancakes?’ That is a fair compromise, no?” – Jean Girard
36. “When you say psychosomatic, you mean like he could start a fire with his thoughts?” —Cal Naughton Jr.
37. “But before I can do that I must be beaten by a driver who is truly better than me.” – Jean Girard
38. “You don’t drive with your eyes, you drive with your heart.” — Reese Bobby
39. “Hey, shut up you little pot-licker, I’ll stick you in a microwave!” – Reese Bobby
40. “Susan, I’ve never heard You talk like that… Are we about to get it on? Because I’m as hard as a diamond in an ice storm right now.” — Ricky Bobby
41. Reese: “You got big. How long’s it been? Three, four months?” Ricky: “Ten years.” Reese: “Ten years? Man, I’ve gotta lay off the peyote.”
42. “Will You be my… Katie Couric?” — Jean Girard
43. “Shake and bake!” — Cal Naughton Jr.
44. “Dear Lord baby Jesus… I would like to thank you for bringin’ me and my mama together, and also that my kids no longer sound like retarded gang-bangers.” — Ricky Bobby
45. “I threw a bunch of Grandpa Chip’s war medals off the bridge.” — Walker
46. “There’s nothing more frightening than driving with a live goddamn cougar next to you.” — Reese Bobby
47. “One of you turds is about to get smacked in the mouth!” – Texas Ranger
48. “It’s the fastest who gets paid and it’s the fastest who gets laid.” – Reese Bobby
49. “Now I am declaring Granny Law and if you do not obey Granny Law, I will paint your back porch red.” — Lucy Bobby
50. “Why, if it isn’t our mangy, transient grandfather.” – Texas Ranger
51. “Hi, I’m Ricky Bobby. If you don’t chew Big Red, then bleep you.” – Ricky Bobby
52. “This sticker is dangerous and inconvenient, but I do love Fig Newtons.” – Ricky Bobby
53. “From now on, you’re the Magic Man and I’m El Diablo.” – Ricky Bobby
54. “I don’t care, I’m having a baby!” – Lucy Bobby
55. “Dear Lord Baby Jesus, or as our brothers to the south call you, Jesús, we thank you so much for this bountiful harvest of Domino’s, KFC, and the always delicious Taco Bell.” — Ricky Bobby
56. “You better shut the hell up or I’ll come over there and rip a hole in that tent!” – Texas Ranger
57. “No, I don’t know what that means, I guess longer lives.” — Lucius Washington
58. “Ricky, remember: The field mouse is fast, but the owl sees at night.” — Chip
59. “Did that blow your mind? Because that just happened!” – Ricky Bobby
60. “Super’s ready! Come on, y’all! I’ve been slaving over this for hours.” – Carley Bobby
61. “Break it, Pepé Le Pew.” — Ricky Bobby
62. “My husband Gregory And I want what any couple wants. To retire to Stockholm And develop a currency for dogs And cats to use.” — Jean Girard
63. “Please be 18.” — Ricky Bobby
64. “Sir, you taste of America.” — Jean Girard
65. “I’m going fast.” — Young Ricky Bobby
66. “We keep it on there for profiling purposes! We’ve also got The Pet Shop Boys and Seal.” — Bartender
67. “We go together like cocaine and waffles.” — Cal Naughton Jr.
68. “I spread my butt cheeks as Mike Honcho.” — Cal Naughton Jr.
69. “It won the Academy Award… Best movie ever made.” – Ricky Bobby
70. “Sorry Lucius, but it’s a hard habit to break, like stalking an ex-girlfriend.” — Glenn
Will Farrell and John C. Reilly play NASCAR champion and runner-up (which is the same as last).
Farrell and McKay came up with the notion at a Fontana, California NASCAR event.
Funny Talladega Nights quotes. Check out our Dave Chappelle quotes and Elf quotes for additional laughs.
Favorite Talladega Nights quote? Talladega Nights is a favorite of Will Farrell fans. The film has humorous one-liners, weird characters, and pranks.
